Managing Relationships 301: Decode Behavior, Defuse Conflict, and Lead with Clarity

In this solo episode, Gary shares his insights on Managing Relationships 301 — the mindset and models behind working more effectively with people, especially those who are challenging. Whether you’re in Customer Success, leading a team, or navigating cross-functional relationships, understanding human behavior is essential to leading more effectively.

Gary walks you through the OCEAN personality model (also known as the Big Five) and compares it to the more widely used DISC framework. Why is DISC so common in corporate training? Why is OCEAN more powerful for long-term leadership success? And how can understanding these traits make you better at reading the room, adapting your approach, and building trust?

You’ll walk away with a modern, practical lens to assess personalities and a call to lead with the Platinum Rule — treating people how they want to be treated.

🔑 In This Episode:

Why relationship management = behavior management
The difference between DISC and OCEAN models — and how to apply both
Full breakdown of the OCEAN traits:
Openness – Visionaries vs. Stabilizers
Conscientiousness – Planners vs. Flexers
Extraversion – Drop-in Energizers vs. Prep-First Thinkers
Agreeableness – People-Pleasers vs. Analytical Challengers
Neuroticism – Worriers vs. Rock-Steady Resolvers
How to spot these traits in clients, coworkers, and even yourself
Why you should lead with the Platinum Rule, not the Golden Rule
Tips for managing high-stress situations with different personality types and how to deal with difficult people and situations.

🛠️ Frameworks Mentioned:

OCEAN / Big Five Personality Model
DISC Personality Model
The Platinum Rule – Treat others how they want to be treated

🎯 Action Challenge:

Pick a difficult interaction from this week.

Guess the other person’s dominant OCEAN trait(s).
Adjust your approach using what you learned.
Reflect on what changed — and how it impacted the outcome.

🧠 Ideal For:

CS & CX Managers
People Leaders
ICs managing complex stakeholder relationships
Anyone trying to decode human behavior in high-stakes environments

📌 Resources:

Want to learn more about OCEAN? Check out Science of People by Vanessa Van Edwards. Big hat tip to Vanessa and her work which helped inspire me and my approach!
DISC Personality Overview: DISCprofile.com